As an Evertonian I have developed a sincerely thick skin over the years. Being from the younger generation I have never seen Everton win so much as a wet t shirt contest. I’ve shrugged off, I’ve ‘we go again’d’ and every other conciliatory action you do when in a bad spell. But never before have i genuinely not cared. Until Sunday at 4.31pm when Everton went behind after 43 seconds of play. It was at that point I decided ‘why bother?’. What’s the point in winding myself up and spoiling my afternoon to watch a team whose players couldn’t give seven shades of shite about the club and it’s fans? I couldn’t find a reason. We of course went on to lose the game, registering just one shot on target.

I’m not stupid. I know full well that the players are ultimately in a profession and they won’t be falling out of the Brick every Saturday night singing the Barry Horne song, especially those from far off lands who came for the Premier League, not for Everton. However, given the position the players are in – playing football and getting paid a fortune for it – I would hope they could at least put effort in, listen to the manager, and repay the support shown to them by the fans who travelled to the heartland of Toryism and Nigel Farage fan clubs to watch them play. But they couldn’t even do that. From the first minute of the game the players didn’t want to be there. They didn’t want to chase down Southampton’s young and enthusiastic wingers, or press on their industrious midfield, or battle with their quasi prolific striker. They wanted to turn up, get their appearance fee, and fuck off home.




I’m not singling him out by any means, as they’re all as shite as each other, but in the first minute when a Southampton player (possibly Davis) was shaping up to swing in a cross, Leighton Baines started to run and block the cross. About a second into the action, he gave up. He stood there while Davis* crossed in and it lead to Southampton’s goal. This is Leighton Baines. If we were a bunch of weird cringey bellends we would sing that ‘one of our own’ song about him. Baines is a scouser, an Evertonian, and even he couldn’t be arsed.

I could assess every player who played last night and tell you why they are all individually tragic, but you don’t need me to tell you. You know the useless ones. Your Colemans, Jagielkas, Barkleys etc. The rumour is Koeman wants 9 new players in. Out of our current starting XI, 3 are good enough for Everton. Idrissa Gueye, Gareth Barry and Lukaku. We need to rid the whole squad of this culture of failure that stems from the Martinez regime. That 13/14 squad needs to be booted out the club sharpish and replaced with players who don’t consider it second nature to be shit at footy. No more sentiment. No more carrying passengers. Fuck them off, because they don’t care as long as they can take £60k a week home to their 10/10 birds.

Koeman, I do think you’re the man for the job. But you need to prove it. Be ruthless and get rid of as many of them no marks as you can in January. They don’t care and as such they won’t get you your move to Barcelona. Get the right players in, win us a trophy, get us in Europe and then you can toddle off to Barca and we will all be happy.

Up the Blues.

2 Response Comments

  • Mark R  28 November 2016 at 23:41

    Wholy agree with everything you’ve written. I was fuming when I walked out of St Mary’s….we all said the same thing…wouldn’t mind if we’d played well and lost but no effort at all, utter dog shit. They look defeated during the warm up, most of the players were looking at floor. Was is if they were ready to face a firing squad not Southampton.
    One thing I noticed you left out of your article is Koeman taking the blame for some of that, which I think he should. Playing Lukaku up front on his own doesn’t work. Also launching direct balls at him is primary school football not Premier league. Dog shit players. Dog shit tactics.

  • Arwel  29 November 2016 at 13:01

    Good article putting across what many Evertonians feel. Would disagree on Coleman and Barkley, what i’ve noticed is that Barkley will try to get things going but when he looks up everyone is static, no one making space no defenders being dragged away, no one making runs, that’s not Barkleys fault. A couple of the team can score from outside the area but whether there is a lack of confidence or under instruction there is nobody trying anything. Coleman always gives 100% and you can’t ask for more.


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