Man City v Everton Preview

Throughout the fits and starts during a season it’s no surprise to end up like where Everton are now. Just when you smell something good cooking the dog goes and shits all over the kitchen and you don’t want the food no more.

It’s not really that bad, Everton are much improved through a combo of Silva’s coaching, Brands’ directing and most important of all – Moshiri’s money.

However if you don’t take opportunities when they come in a plum home games then it’s gonna hurt when you hit the more difficult stretches of fixtures. Right now there’s a real chance that Everton will be sat on a run of 5 winless games in December, just in time for Santa. Blue Chrimbo indeed.

Unless of course a gutsy (Marco) Silva inspired performance turns over Man City on their home patch, and puts the shite clear at Christmas. If by this point you haven’t realised you’re following Everton because of deep lying masochist tendencies, then you have my sincere pity.

Maybe, just maybe, the secret to a proficient Premier League season is not to get caught up in the bigger picture and just treat games one at a time. Trends are there to be broken of course. I say this with faint hope as Everton’s record of going away to those above them and securing 3 points is not a happy one of late.

Incidentally you may remember where we had some sustained success in recent times in this particular challenge, and it was at the point Man City got rich and starred flexing their financial muscle on new players, and irritation fuelled somewhat with a very public chasing of Joleon Lescott. Everton subsequently went and bloodied their nose on a number of occasions, right until the point they simply bought another batch of ace players and showed us a clean set of heels. That’s us piped down then.

They’re winning leagues now and fair fucks to them. Their fans have been through some very shit times and must be loving every moment of the experience right now. If Moshiri could invoke anything like that then he’ll be the last person I toast before I leave this mortal coil.

Right now Pep Guardiola is the determining factor between easy summers or a gigantic media and wool driven cringe carnival if the European ban specialists ever do lift a league title again. I’ve seen the latest Bitter Referendum amongst Evertonians this week polling if blues want to win this game, and gift Liverpool the advantage. City will most likely twat us anyway so no need to getting yourself in a tizz, mate.

There’s much history between the two cities so I’d usually throw some snide words in here but truth is there’s little separating the people, save for some questionable clothing, male grooming and probability of wearing Union Jack Bermudas around pools. They could riposte about our obsession with fanta skinned women, sliders worn with socks and being incapable of completing any sentence without “lad” in it, even to our mothers. 31 miles is plenty space to drive a cultural partisan wedge into after all.

Just want to point out that neither St Helens or Wigan qualify as said wedge, because I used the term “cultural” and, well, St Helens and Wigan….

Here’s the list of Man City players you’ll be cheering on this weekend:

Aguero – could be fit to return, from the planet Endor, and no doubt slot a brace past us.

De Bruyne – same as above, except with the complexion of a new hamster.

Sterling – genuine disgrace what the Murdoch “inspired” media and their simple celled hanger ons are doing to him, there’ll no doubt be some plucky photographer trying to get any sort of back page out of Evertonians this weekend. Fuck right off.

Stones – he owes all his medals to the elite Park End coaching he received when ours.

Laporte – has all the looks of someone staring at the inside of a spoon.

Kompany – don’t think ol’ Mars Attacks head is playing much, but what a player.

Walker – Everton nearly signed him in 2009, the result of that Butterfly Effect meaning Seamus Coleman gets tutted at by Everton dars (and me) this very weekend.

Ederson – neck tattoos are for a night out in Hull, tithead.

I’d like to wish them all the luck in the world, but after this weekend.

Onto Everton, and the trio of games just gone gives Silva an opportunity to shake things up a bit. It’s noted that he isn’t fond of changing a winning team – unless we can dip out of the league cup of course – so a defeat and two disappointing home draws gives opportunity to those in the squad, and maybe a new system. Throughout his brief managerial career Silva has played five at the back so I wouldn’t be surprised to see it sprung here.

Richarlison seems best suited to that central striker role at present on the basis of him scoring goals, which is the good shit if you’re playing up front. He will probably remain there, it’s just a disappointment that neither of those fighting for his vacant left wing slot are putting forward a convincing case but I live in hope this will change as Bernard adapts to English footie and Lookman tries to make his mark. Over on the right the best option remains an out of form Walcott. Unless Silva does play five at the back and goes for a trio in midfield – in which case there’s an opportunity for some lucky lemon to come into this team in the middle. Please make it Tom Davies, I miss the twitter fall out so much.

There’s a good bit of assessment going on in the middle of the park for Everton right now. Gomes is answering every question and looking like the first midfielder in a long time that can compete on an equal footing with the best midfields we face, put simply – we must sign the handsome bastard or I’ll never love another. Gueye’s energy and disruption are a useful asset in some games, but his distribution and play with the ball against the better teams maybe opens up some food for thought for Brands and wherever his scouts may lie.

Conceding 3 goals at home to Watford and Newcastle combined means the defence isn’t as tight as it should be. Digne bounced back from a poor game prior to find more channels than your father in the loft circa 1986, and save Everton’s bacon with an ace free kick at the end. Give him the fuck penalties too. As referenced above, Coleman is taking some scrutiny at the moment. As with all good Everton things – it’s proving somewhat divisive.

Seamus has been a fantastic servant of Everton and has all the DNA to captain the club, and because of that he deserves a season or so after a horrible leg break (or highly amusing kopite meme, depending on your stance/vacuum of personality) to show he’s back to the fine right back of before. So far it’s inconclusive, at best. Despite scoring a goal and taking a maddy at the crowd. His task isn’t easier because over on the opposite flank “Luka Deen” is pulling off the near miracle of not making Evertonians miss Leighton Baines. But I still do. Just as at some point in the future I’ll miss a rampaging, bustling Irish fullback attacking the fuck out of the flank in the good name of Everton.

The future though is happening right under our eyes. Every game that comes along with the yearning for Everton to fucking do something worthwhile. The ante seems to be upped this season and I hope Coleman or young Kenny can catch that particular train in the first instance, if not then summer will be interesting for them both. Jordan Pickford will play in goal, he will need to be on blob if Everton are to achieve anything from this game.

I started the preview with a touch of negativity so it’s only I counter it at the end. After all, the last time Everton averaged 1.5 points per game after 16 fixtures there was a young Iberian managerial buck who promised much, but failed to deliver in the end.

That ‘delivery’ is what Evertonians crave right now, something tangible to celebrate, to build excitement over.

No place better to make a statement on delivery then away to the champions.

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