Everton v Bournemouth Preview

I believe it was the supreme philosopher Aristotle that said “Patience is bitter, but it’s fruit is sweet”

Fair enough, I googled that like – my head’s cabbaged enough with Everton and life, without dropping some meaningful or inspirational quote on you off the top of my head. It’s a quote though with substance for the deep thinkers amongst you – certainly one that us Evertonians are going to relate to. I know i’m a broken record here, but for each week that tests the patience Everton fans, surely it has to be worth it in the end?

Been an interesting week there. We learnt Monday that we have a trip to the Football Factory in the FA Cup and we also heard some interesting things coming from the AGM – more on that later.

We head to Sunday for an early afternoon Sky TV extravaganza where the Spellow Lane Strikers take on East Dorsetshire. Bournemouth travel to Goodison on the back of some horrific form; just one win in 8, they’ve dropped below us and have not looked decent for over a month, what could possibly go wrong? (Insert timeforeverton.jpeg)

I’m sure you’ve all heard by now the feel good footballing story of Bournemouth & Boscombe Athletic Football Club, so I won’t regurgitate it back to you. You already know it and you know they have a half decent team. Evertonian Eddie Howe is their manager and he’s one of them names that cropped up when we knew we were jibbing Allardyce. Always provides some fierce Twitter debate that, but let’s have it right – to get a club the size of Bournemouth from League 2 to the Big Boy Capitalist League, you must have something about you.

I imagine they are an enjoyable team to be a supporter of – you live in a nice town, miles of beaches with golden sands, at least a 30% population of immigrant Scousers who’ve been settled there since the 80s. There’s nothing infinitely offensive about Bournemouth or the town except it being a Tory heartland but even that’s starting to change. I mean, if I have to criticise anything, lads down there wear white socks with jeans and there’s never a ketwig on a scooter by an offy. Be lucky to find a pint cheaper that £3.50 as well. An irritating accent that doesn’t know if it’s cockney or west-country so just sits somewhere in the middle. Actually, fuck off Bournemouth.

Here’s some lads with shit haircuts who might play against us;

Callum Wilson – I think the style of player he is would be perfect for us right now. Good striker, damage him

Nathan Ake – The Millennial Ruud Gullit. Very decent defender

Dominic Solanke – Poundland Dominic Calvert-Lewin signed for stupid money. Injured I think for this so can’t score against us on his debut

Nathaniel Clyne – RED AND WHITE SHITE, RED AND WHITE SHITE, ELLO ELLO

David Brooks – Looks a player this kid, think Tom Davies with speed

Jordon Ibe – That your name mate yeh? Grow up. You’re not gonna end up better than Raheem Sterling.

Everton then;

The aforementioned AGM was interesting. The commercial and business side of things look like they are going well and it seems as though the team Moshiri has built on this side of things is the most professional we have had in years. Denise Barrett-Baxendale is sound by the way.

I wrote in the Lincoln preview about the Goodison atmosphere and it was intriguing to hear both Brands and Moshiri comment on it; Moshiri saying that he wonders at times why it is so quiet but that he realises players need to inspire fans. Brands however, stating that our fans don’t realise how powerful we can be and that some players do suffer from nerves playing at Goodison.

I’ve done a complete 180 on this argument. I was always one of the “the players need to give us something to shout about” gang, but these comments coupled with similar ones made by Vlasic has taught me that something needs to change.

We get on their backs far too easily and this accepting the worst, say when we concede a goal, has to somehow change. It’s frustrating that we’ve had nothing to shout about for nearly a quarter of a century and that is having an effect on supporters, but we need to make Goodison intimidating again. It’s becoming a nice place for away teams to play at. That should never be the case.

I don’t have the answer, but I think its very telling when some very high profile people at Everton comment on it. Me writing this isn’t going to change anything, but we need to take responsibility in making Goodison and place were our players thrive and where opposition players shrink with fear and intimidation. It is a two way thing though and we need some inspiration from the boys in blue too. Let’s hope the XI who start against Bournemouth can kick off the second half of the season with a comfortable win.

On the playing side, I reckon Coleman comes back in after sitting out the last two. I think Kenny did well but a right footed Digne would be pleasing in the future as I think Seamus and Jonjoe aren’t longed for a regular right back spot.

A full eight days rest should see a reinvigorated Andre Gomes in centre-mid. Suffered from a lack of form in the last few games; he looked absolutely shattered. We need him to play well as when he does, Everton as a whole tend to. Despite whispers of a move, Gana will continue alongside him.

Pick anyone of Lookman, Bernard, Walcott and DCL to start with Richarlison to from the axis of frustration. Would personally go for Lookman and DCL, but with Bernard scoring last week, Silva may opt for him.

Can’t honestly say what he goes with defensively and after me declaring how high I rated Zouma last week, he proceeded to have the worst game he’s had for Everton against Lincoln. How shaky do we look on set-pieces? Common-theme for us these last few years. Wouldn’t it just settle a few Gwladys St nerves if we could defend them? 10/10 for the fella who sat his GSCE in Zonal Marking and asked Silva about it at the AGM by the way. Never change Everton. Pickford between the sticks.

So there we go, enjoy the game, whether watching there of on the telly tomorrow. Good luck with the scramble for Millwall spares lids.

Hope you have a great Sunday at Goodison and the go home after and neck a Sunday roast.

Up the Toffees

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