The international break can fuck off. Oh, sorry. How are you? It’s been a while. Now…where was I? Oh yeah. The international break can fuck off. Not only is it the normal procession of garbage, although England surprised everyone by doing a bit of a professional job at Celtic Park, as if they were…motivated or […]

Read More

Lille got backed into a blind alley, were surrounded, subdued, and roundly Everton’d. Beautiful. Stage One of Project Europe is as good as done now, and it’s all thanks to a couple of Goodison masterclasses. Wolfsburg was 50 minutes of free-flowing Everton action; Lille was 80 minutes of it. The last 10 we didn’t even […]

Read More

It’s not often that you can aptly review a football match with one letter, repeated multiple times. But here goes. ZZZZZZZZZZZ. Bizarre really. I don’t know what to say. You expect this Everton side to be in swashbuckling form, grabbing a goal or three, but nothing’s doing. You expect Ross Barkley to do something magic, […]

Read More

Sake. Just beat them Everton. We’re into European Hangover Part III, which is frustratingly relevant seeing as Palace and Man United have stuck the knife in after our Thursday night football. This one’s one hell of a hangover too as we took – what was it – 12 million people to Lille? The French police […]

Read More

Great how Everton can make you feel better out of nowhere, isn’t it? The sun shone on L4 as the Blues trounced Aston Villa, and now that Hurricane Gonzalo is causing havoc, who cares? We’re off to France. The French don’t react well to invasions so this one could get messy. Amidst a mad Premier […]

Read More

And after the great meltdown…there was Everton. And there was even more fuming after that. Unreal aren’t we. The season has been like watching any sporting team representing England; every time you think a corner is being turned, another setback knees you in an area that’s meant to be treated well. Just to compound that […]

Read More

Is anyone else starting to forget what Goodison Park looks like? Alright, that’s an exaggeration, but in reality the School of Science Roadshow winds up in a new town with home feeling even further away than ever, even if in fact it’s just a short trip down the M62. Since the last time we graced […]

Read More

You know what it’s like. The Merseyside derby. Another edition comes along, chock-full of fear, anticipation and that little sliver of hope that things can change. Then you watch ninety minutes of that sliver being trampled on remorselessly. Ninety minutes gone, you’ve seen the goal that condemns you to more misery. But then Phil Jagielka […]

Read More

There’s a storm brewing. Tension fills the air. I’ve been struck down by what I’m pretty sure is mutant super-Ebola. The river Mersey runs red with blood. That can only mean it’s derby day. For most sides a derby match is highly anticipated as a close-fought contest between two rivals, but 70s BBC personalities feel […]

Read More