Picture this. On Wednesday I, your humble previewer, sat with an Arsenal fan and a Man Utd supporter watching streams of Everton-Hull and Arsenal-Southampton. 53 minutes in at Goodison and Sone Aluko ambles on to the pitch. My compatriots laugh. “Aluko’s sh*t” they tell me. “Correct,” I reply, “And that’s why, in five minutes, he’ll […]

Read More

At half time on Sunday, with Spurs leading 2-1 against Everton, a statistic popped up on social media. The last time Everton trailed 2-1 at half time and won was in 1994. You’re all aware of the game I’m referring to. Wimbledon at home. Anders Limpar’s questionable decision-making, Barry Horne’s undisputed moment of genius, and […]

Read More

Every now and then Everton provide us with an evening of absolute perfection. Thursday night wasn’t quite that sort of night but it was damn close. James McCarthy picked up another knock and for the most part we were totally under the cosh. Apart from that, it was excellent. I’ve heard some pure shite this […]

Read More

In the great ongoing drama that is football, we endure all sorts, living for those moments of exquisite glory. The trophy, the wonderful run of form, the position that exceeds expectation and silences critics, or John Stones making a tackle. However, almost as enjoyable are the moments of pure serenity as you look to whichever […]

Read More

The international break can fuck off. Oh, sorry. How are you? It’s been a while. Now…where was I? Oh yeah. The international break can fuck off. Not only is it the normal procession of garbage, although England surprised everyone by doing a bit of a professional job at Celtic Park, as if they were…motivated or […]

Read More

Lille got backed into a blind alley, were surrounded, subdued, and roundly Everton’d. Beautiful. Stage One of Project Europe is as good as done now, and it’s all thanks to a couple of Goodison masterclasses. Wolfsburg was 50 minutes of free-flowing Everton action; Lille was 80 minutes of it. The last 10 we didn’t even […]

Read More

It’s not often that you can aptly review a football match with one letter, repeated multiple times. But here goes. ZZZZZZZZZZZ. Bizarre really. I don’t know what to say. You expect this Everton side to be in swashbuckling form, grabbing a goal or three, but nothing’s doing. You expect Ross Barkley to do something magic, […]

Read More

Sake. Just beat them Everton. We’re into European Hangover Part III, which is frustratingly relevant seeing as Palace and Man United have stuck the knife in after our Thursday night football. This one’s one hell of a hangover too as we took – what was it – 12 million people to Lille? The French police […]

Read More

Great how Everton can make you feel better out of nowhere, isn’t it? The sun shone on L4 as the Blues trounced Aston Villa, and now that Hurricane Gonzalo is causing havoc, who cares? We’re off to France. The French don’t react well to invasions so this one could get messy. Amidst a mad Premier […]

Read More