Given how strange and emotional the past week has been, Everton’s return seems a timely one. It was meant to be a run-of-the-mill international break – laugh or cringe at England’s failings, grapple with the logic of Kyle Walker playing while John Stones sits like a spare part on the bench (or just Kyle Walker […]

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We see him here, we see him there Riding his camel with snow-topped hair When he’s not around we usually lose He’s Arouna Kone and he plays for the Blues And so ends the cringeworthy portion of this preview. Maybe. Not often you see that from Everton is it? Yes, I know letting a two […]

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Goodison is packed, but there’s not much noise. Z Cars is playing, but it seems somehow more sombre, even listless, than it has ever sounded before. The players are trudging out, fans sat silently, until there is an announcement on the PA system and Goodison Park erupts into rapturous applause. The minute of adulation was […]

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And we’re back. See you in a month international football. Don’t hurry back. Yes, all eyes are on those magic blues again. How else would you want to spend your weekend? Especially as right now Everton are playing football laced with promise, if lacking in actual results. There’s no better example than the derby last […]

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Do you remember the 28th night of September? Nothing like some Everton magic to chase the clouds away. Monday night was a strange beast. And by that I’m thinking something like a unicorn or a Tory Cabinet member with morals because we just don’t see that sort of thing round these parts. It was the […]

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Eight games into the season…are you happy? Let’s take stock. Three wins, three draws, one defeat plus an AET victory, which is a draw or a win depending on viewpoint. 15 goals scored and 9 conceded. Seems pretty rosy at this point doesn’t it? Performance-wise, it’s that good old buzzword “transition”. It feels like we’re […]

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Hey. Wake up! Hi there. What do you mean Steven Naismith came off the bench to score a hat-trick and we murdered the Premier League champions? Don’t be stupid, that was a dream. They rolled us over 2-0. Pedro and Diego Costa scored, and Gareth Barry was sent off for clattering Cesc Fabregas moments after […]

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Hello again. Did you miss me? More importantly…did you miss them? The international break is normally a time in which the fume settles and Everton’s former sins are slowly absolved because, let’s face it, even the really shite performances are better than watching England. However, there wasn’t really much need to forgive and forget this time […]

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Another week, another crisis clumsily averted. Standard stuff for the lean, mean fume machine. First up was the Man City game on Sunday. We played well, but City were better. It really is as simple as that. There were gaps in the defence and errors made that need to be sorted out, as you can […]

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Everton just love to confound you. They do it deliberately, you know. And on Saturday, with major rumblings of discontent among the fanbase, they did the sneakiest, most under-handed thing of all. They gave you exactly what you wanted. The bastards. Amidst the gloom surrounding the club, at least from the perspective of many, Saturday […]

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